Is it more important to be a good listener or a good speaker? This may surprise you, but being a good speaker starts with being a good listener. God gave us all two ears and only one mouth for a reason!
Initial questions
When someone asks you to speak, it is time to start asking them questions and listening carefully to the responses. Ask simple open-ended questions, shut up and listen to the response. Take some notes. Ask questions like: Why did you ask me to speak? What would you like me to speak about? What would your group like to hear? Why is this important to your group? Who else will be speaking? Listen carefully to responses for two reasons. First, responses will help you determine if you will accept the invitation to speak. Second, listening will also help you put together a presentation that is of interest to the audience. Remember, the audience is the most important ‘person’ in the room, not the speaker. You can only speak to their needs if you ask what they are, and then listen to their response.
Converse with people
A good conversationalist meets people and asks about them and their interests. Arrive early to meet people before the event begins. When you meet, ask about them and their organization or group. Ask what interesting projects the group is working on. You may learn that they just raised $10,000 for the local Children’s Hospital. Listen carefully and make a mental note or add to your speaking notes. Congratulating the group on the success of this worthwhile project at the beginning of your presentation will help you to connect with them. And remember, your objective is to learn about them, not talk about yourself. We never learn anything when we are speaking, only when we’re listening.
Listening just before speaking
What is going on in room the minute you walk in? Listen carefully to what people are saying. Ask questions. They won’t see you as nosey, but interested in them and their group. For example, if an individual is honored, listen carefully and jot down some notes. After you are introduced, it is appropriate to add your personal congratulations, naming the person, before you begin your speech. This shows that you are a good listener and you care about them. Remember, they don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care about them.
Listening during speech
While it may sound impossible, a speaker can listen to an audience during their speech. If the audience chuckles and laughs at humorous stories things are probably going well. If an audience member makes a humorous comment during your speech you certainly may respond with an appropriate comment.
Listening after your speech
We can all improve. Listen to comments and feedback after your speech so you can continually improve your speeches.
Speaking is not a one-way street. To be an effective speaker, incorporate good listening skills before, during and after every speech.